On Being Married

I've been married for just over three years now. This in itself is incredible to me, the time seems to have gone in the blink of an eye. Three and a bit years of marriage is nothing at all, but it is a little bit. And in that little bit, there are maybe three things that i'm learning from marriage, about being a Christian.

First of all, when i said yes to Rachel at St Thomas's Church in Bath on that June evening, i was also saying no to every other woman out there. Rachel is mine, and I am hers. No one else enters this union, no third person, no other voice or passion. Just the two of us. Yes to my wife, no to everyone else. There's a lot of women in the world, but only one of them in my heart.

When we are saved, we say yes to Jesus, and no to every competing god. No to competing passions, no to alluring temptations, no to selfish ambition, or whatever else it may be. There's only room for the Jesus that demands total allegiance, no one and nothing else can get in the way of a Christian's commitment to their Lord.

Marriage is like a long conversation. Rachel and I can be driving down the road and resume a conversation that we left off days ago. There's an ease in the seriousness of our relationship. Isn't that same true for the Christian and Christ? We grow closer to Him knowing that He knows our thoughts, our concerns, our dreams. We can talk to Him whenever we want, we can turn to Him whenever we need. Rachel is always there for me, we're always each other's priority in this world, how much Christ for the Christian.

Everyone says that one of the things they learn the quickest about themselves in marriage is how selfish they are. I thought i'd be the exception that proved the rule. How wrong i was. It was a battle, in those early days, to motivate myself to do anything just because Rachel wanted to do it. There's the first flush of enthusiasm, but once that's passed, it can be a struggle. That's slowly, too slowly, changing now though. I love to just be with her, and do things just because they please her.

In our relationship with Christ, first there's the stage where everything seems new, but then maybe, our love grows cold. But the more we spend time with Him, the more we know Him, the more pleasing Him and being with Him brings us joy. The more we read the Bible, the more we see Christ, the more we want to. The more pleasure and closeness we gain through obedience, the more we want.

There are a million other lessons to learn about our relationship with Jesus from our relationship with our spouses, but those are three of mine.